"we will insist on change."

Have you ever been in the spot where you are riding down the road with your best friend in the driver's seat, confident in their ability to get you where you need to go, every thing's going smoothly, you hit a few bumps, swerve a bit to miss some road side debris but over all, nothing out of the ordinary, just a nice drive... Then out of nowhere you look up and you can see an accident coming but you can't say anything and just brace for the impact that does or does not come? Yeah, we're there.

Mom moved out and now Thing1's girl wants to move in for a few months until she and Thing1 can get their own place. Everything in me is screaming HELL NO! No, please, Dear God, NO!

Autism Answers shared this post on my page as if she knew right at that exact moment I would need to hear it. This is the part that hit home for me...

"Sometimes what we can do for others is be ourselves and offer knowledge, say no to getting sucked in and understand that we have a right and a duty to take care of ourselves and let others do the same their own way."

Over the past several years I have taken in many strays.

• When Thing1's friend got kicked out and needed a place to stay, I took him in. Didn't end well. Involved drugs and the threat of arrest and a 12 hour hold (for me) and temporary foster care for the goofy child until someone could pick him up because the friend involved Thing2 in his crap.
• When the Favorite Aunt had no place to go with her daughter, I took them in and tried to give them a home. Didn't end well. Involved drugs/ alcohol and complete stupidity.
• When the Favorite Aunt moved back in with her husband, leaving her children to finish the school year, I took responsibility for them. yup, problems there too. including an investigation by the school system into why so many kids from this address were attending their schools.
• When Thig1's girl "needed" a place to stay because she "couldn't" go home, I took her in too. Resulted in a complete disregard of rules, pregnancy and foolishness.
• When Mom had *issues* and needed to get out of dodge in the middle of the night, I made her a room with no question of what "should" be done.

All of these, I dragged Big Daddy kicking and screaming the whole way. He says we need to take care of our own family and not worry about the others. I say they are family. You can't turn your back on family. They are blood, it's your tribe, your clan. That means something. If they need you, you need to be there. But, as a famous author once said... ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.’ If it's not working, change your approach. duh, right?

Now I am looking forward to having our home, I am looking forward to being relaxed and calm and having a laid back home environment. I am tired of allowing myself and my family to be sucked in. Big Daddy was right and I am ready and willing to admit that. Except now, in true Big Daddy fashion, since I "took" his part of the argument, he is switching over to my side of it. Every time. Now I say no, it's not a good idea, actually, it's a very BAD idea. and I list my reasons, which happen to be HIS reasons for not allowing such things, in response he lists his reasons for wanting to allow it, which happen to be the reasons I gave him. Now, switching sides, this isn't a person by person, issue by issue thing. We do this in singular topic, normal everyday things, at times mid-argument. I don't know for sure yet what the final verdict will be on the girl and Queen moving in but judging by the discussions so far...

Oh, boy. I believe the "car" in front of us just slammed their brakes on. This is not going to be good.